"The" Dress

THIS IS MY GOAL.

This photo was taken in August 2010. I purchased this dress to wear at my 30th birthday. 

I weighed approximately 136 here. I still felt incredibly fat. But I was going through a bit of a mid life crisis at the time.... I won't get into it.

Anyway. This is my goal. This is what I want to look like again. My actual goal is to be 130 by Spring. I don't see that being a problem. My absolute goal? To be 125 by June 2013. That means I have 6 months to lose 17 lbs. I can do that. I have faith in me. I've stuck by this healthier living style since October and I don't see me giving up. Not when I've already lost 17 lbs since then. 

I tried on this dress pre-diet and my hips simply laughed at me. This dress couldn't be worn as anything except a legwarmer. 

I tried on this dress this morning, after my shower, and it almost fit. I was able to zip it most of the way up the back. I cannot even begin to tell you how amazing that makes me feel. 

Growing up as a fat kid I just kept piling on the pounds. After several failed weight loss attempts (Phen-phen, SlimFast, Weight Watchers, SlimQuick, etc) and an eventual bariatric surgery I became convinced that there was no "easy" way for me to lose weight. That I just couldn't do it on my own. I honestly wish that I had known it would be as easy as counting calories and moving more. Now I know that this journey is mine to take alone. With a little determination and perhaps some slight obsessiveness I can get back to a healthy me.

Will I ever look as youthful in this picture? Hell no. I was just turning 30. I was having the time of my life. Friends, parties, no-fucks-given, long bleach blonde hair....

But. I believe I can resemble that person again. I can look like her.... but a few years older. No problem. 

I GOT THIS.

Spinach & Tomato Frittata Muffins

Spinach & Tomato Frittata Muffins

INGREDIENTS:
7 eggs
3 Tbsp skim milk
1/2 cup shredded cheese (I used Mexican Four Cheese)
1 Tomato, diced
1 cup fresh spinach leaves, chopped

DIRECTIONS:

1. Preheat Oven to 350.
2. Grease a 12 cup muffin tin with cooking spray.
3. Whisk eggs and milk together until blended.
4. Add 1/2 of cheese, tomatoes and spinach. Mix to combine.
5. Pour into muffin cups evenly.
6. Top with remaining cheese.
7. Bake 20 minutes. They will be puffed up and will deflate once taken out of the oven to rest.
8. Remove with small rubber spatula onto plate. 

NUTRITION:

(Per Muffin)

Calories: 63

Fat: 4 

Carbs: 1

Protein: 5

Sugar: 0

Sodium: 75

96 Calorie Chocolate Chip Cookies...say whaaaa?!

Chocolate Chip Cookies
Makes: 34 cookies (at least that's what I got out of this batch)

Ingredients:
1 1/2 cups flour
1 1/2 cups oats
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
6 Tbsp "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter Light"
1 1/4 cup brown sugar
1 large egg
1 tsp vanilla
1 cup hershey's milk chocolate chips






Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 375.
2. Combine flour, oats, baking soda and salt in a medium bowl. Set aside.
3. Beat together butter and brown sugar until creamy. 
4. Add egg, then vanilla and beat until combined.
5. Slowly add in flour mixture.
6. Add chocolate chips and stir.
7. Drop by rounded spoonful onto ungreased baking sheet (preferably with parchment paper).
8. Bake 8-10 minutes.
9. Cool on wire racks.

Nutrition:

Calories: 96

Carbs: 17

Fat: 3

Protein: 1

Sugar: 11

Iron: 3

Crockpot Baked Potato Soup

Crockpot Baked Potato Soup
Serves 8 

INGREDIENTS: 
1 bag frozen Ore Ida Roasted Potatoes (original) 
1/2 cup frozen chopped onions 
1 medium celery stalk, diced 
32 oz College Inn (low fat/50% sodium) Chicken Broth 
1 cup water 
3 Tbsp Flour 
1 cup skim milk 
8 oz shredded American or white chedder cheese 
1/4 cup real bacon pieces (Hormel) 
4 green onions, sliced 

DIRECTIONS: 
Place in crockpot: Potatoes, onions, celery, broth and water. 
Cook on low 6-8 hours. 

In small bowl mix flour into milk. Add to crockpot. 
Cook on high 30 mins. 

Stir in cheese until melted. 

Spoon into bowls and garnish with bacon and green onions. 

NUTRITION: 
Calories: 212 
Fat: 10 
Carbs: 21 
Protein: 8 
Sugar: 1

Fad Diets?

So I've been reading a lot about these 'fad' diet plans which supposedly help you lose about 10 lbs in a week.

One was something about Raspberry Ketones or something.... another where you make this ONE giant batch of soup and eat as much as you want of it for 7 days and on the first day you eat ALLLL fruits. Second day alllll vegetable... etc.

And I have to say... I sincerely contemplated it for a moment or two. Then I realized that though the soup diet may work, as soon as I start to eat normal food again my body is going to regain most of that weight back.... and quickly.

Now, growing up as a fat kid I tried SO many diets over the years, starting when I was 12. I did Slim Fast. I did Weight Watchers. I was prescribed phen-phen by my doctor. I did everything. Nothing worked except the phen phen which they promptly pulled from the market cause apparently people were keeling over from heart attacks. Big deal. :P

So.. what fad diets have you heard of and tried (or been scared to)?

Chipotle Gouda Mac & Cheese

Chiptole Gouda Mac & Cheese

Serves 6 (Large portions)

INGREDIENTS:

16 oz Boar's Head Chipotle Gouda cheese, cubed
3 Tbsp Butter
3 Tbsp Flour
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp black pepper
2 1/2 cups skim milk
1 box Barilla Enriched Elbows

DIRECTIONS:

1. Preheat oven to 375.

2. Prepare elbows as package directs. Drain.

3. Butter a large casserole dish and set aside. Pour cooked elbows into buttered dish.

4. Melt butter in saucepan over medium heat. Once melted remove from heat and stir in flour, salt and pepper until combined. Return to heat and slowly add milk.

5. Once milk is heated through add cheese and stir occassionally until completely melted.

6. Pour cheese sauce over elbows and mix until combined thoroughly.

7. Cook 20 minutes in oven.

8. Allow to set 5 minutes. Enjoy!

I served this with a basic garden salad and light italian dressing.

NUTRITIONAL STUFF:

Calories: 426
Fat: 27
Carbs: 22
Protein: 23
Sugar:
Iron: 1

First Mini-Goal Reached!

After a couple days of feeling bloated and generally "poofy" in the midsection I was  nervous about getting on the scale this morning. As it stands in the past 3 days I've consumed more cake than I have in months. My daughters' had their birthday and my husband's birthday was lastnight. I allowed myself to have a slice of cake for both events.

So when I jumped on the scale this morning, buck ass nekid (as I normally do... hey, every ounce counts!) I looked down through my squinted fearful eyes and ended up doing a happy dance.... I am officially under 150 lbs! YAY! I am proud of myself. I might be losing slowly but at least I'm losing.

I reminded myself today that it's not a race. That I don't need to reach my final goal within a certain time period, as long as I get there. I am fully confident in myself that I can get there by bathing suit season, of course, but I'm not going to freak if I'm not losing a full 10 lbs per month. I feel better about myself already.

Plus, you know what's great? Running into an ex and having them text you afterwards saying "you look good." Boo-yah!

Restaurant Freak Out

I don't know about you all, but when I find that I have to eat out of the house I tend to get a little anxious. In short... I freak the hell out. I find myself searching for the healthiest things to eat at my favorite places via web, database, etc. 

We went out last night to celebrate my twin daughters' birthday and they chose Ruby Tuesday's. So let me tell you what I ordered.... 

They have a pretty darn good "Fit N Trim" menu! Here I ordered the Spaghetti Squash Marinara for a mere 260 calores (for the entire plate!) and I was only able to finish half of it.  I also indulged in the Garden Bar and made sure to pile on the veggies. Spring mix, mushrooms, edamame, peas and broccoli... Used VERY little balsamic vinagrette to top it off. All in all my entire meal cost me under 400 calories. And I was STUFFED.

 Because it was their birthday they gave all of us a free cupcake each. I chose the Red Velvet and only ate half. It was amazing. And honestly, eating only half was plenty. It was so rich and just enough to make me happy. I gave the other half to the husband. Which was wrong of me to do since I am trying to keep him on track, as well. Whoops!

 So there you go. I am proud of myself! I am eating the other half of my entree right now for lunch and for a mere 130 calories it's sooooo worth it. :) 

Miss Crankypants

So this entire week I've been in a funk. Just generally depressed. Letting my mind get carried away with itself and allowing my imagination get the better of me. Because of this fact I have been a complete asshat to my family. My husband has been super patient with me, though, amazingly enough. My kids have pretty  much stayed out of my way (besides the peanut.... he's just like 'maybe if I whine a whole bunch Mom will feel better?').

 So after work yesterday my husband decides we should go to the mall to have our baby's picture taken. We are sorely overdue. He hasn't had one since he was 1 month old and he is now 10 months old (tomorrow). So we pack up the whole fam damily and head over to the mall. Cranktacular me and all my glory.

At this point I have very carefully eaten a mere 256 calories all day. And I felt like I ate a lot, too! I made myself a breakfast of 1/4 cup better 'n eggs, chopped mushrooms all scrambled together with a Tablespoon of shredded reduced fat chedder cheese with two sliced light wheat toast and exactly 5 sprays of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter on each slice. Completed with my usual cup of coffee. And for lunch I had a Healthy Choice soup bowl which filled me to the brim. For a snack? Sliced cucmber with SuperHummus.

Now... I felt satisfied. But I had a feeling that the husband would recommend us going out for dinner after the photo shoot. I became anxious about it. Wondering what I could order that wouldn't send me over my calories and tip the scale. And of course being at the mall smelling the food there gave me mixed feelings. Part of me was like "OHMYGODTHATSMELLSFREAKINDELICIOUS!" and the other part of me was like "It never tastes as good as it smells and it's not healthy and a waste of calories. Drink your water and be done with it."

 The husband had made several comments during the afternoon/evening that drove me close to tears. And I couldn't tell if I was just being too sensitive or if he was genuinely being a poophead. So I clammed up.  

 As we walked around the husband decided to stop in to Gloria Jeans for a Sleigh Ride Chiller. I never really drink a lot of those anyway. It's too sugary and often upsets my stomach so I decided to just sip off of his. Glad I did as a small one clocks in at around 390 calories!! We walked around the disney store and I apologized for my recent mood swings. I offered that maybe it was my lack of food that was causing me to be such jerk. He agreed and said that's probably it and kissed me and said "it's okay. I'm still here." We laughed and things seemed to pick up a bit. As the evening came to a close we decided to go home and order pizza. One or two slices wouldn't kill me.

On our way home he was texting and making calls about work which bothered me a bit but I let it go. We get home and I start to ask him where he wants to order pizza from. He basically gives me the "I don't care" response and keeps walking. As I'm ordering online I give him the price total and he is like "how much is chinese? About the same?" So the kids get all excited... asking to order from our new favorite chinese place. I grab their menu and we total it up and it's a bit more but worth it, we decide.

I basically start internally freaking the hell out because I don't know what I can order. I decide on the chicken chow mein dinner. It comes with fried rice and two appetizer choices. So I pick an egg roll and wontons. Both super duper deep fried things. Oy. I ate maybe a cup of chow mein, two bites of fried rice, half an egg roll and two wontons. I felt like I was going to EXPLODE. My stomach revolted against me the rest of the night. I thought there was an alien ready to jump out of my stomach and start singing and dancing "hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my rag-time gal!"

And I slept horribly.

Woke up, stepped on the scale with my eyes closed. I didn't gain a single OUNCE. Hooray! But I doubt I will ever order chinese again because I think my stomach has gotten so used to eating better that it's like "um, NO."

What I learned yesterday: it's all in moderation. I shouldn't starve myself towards my goal weight. I simply need to make sure I meet my calorie goal and get excerise in at some point.

I've got to stop taking this all so seriously and lighten up a bit. I'll be a much happier and healthier person ALL AROUND once I remember to do that.   

"Perfection"?

Lately I find that I am comparing myself to...well... everything and everyone. 

 I can't help but look at other people in public and think "I wish I had her stomach" or "I would kill to have those legs."  

I find that I will see someone chowing down on a burger in their car and immediately think one of two things. Either "I hate you for being able to devour that without an ounce of guilt" or "Wow. They could easily have replaced that with something else to lessen the calories." 

I will see someone jogging down the street and think to myself "I hope I can do that by springtime."

 I see someone who is larger than me and I think "well at least I'm not as big as that."

I think it all boils down to not being happy with myself, really. We all have these unrealistic expectations of perfection that we lay upon ourselves. I will never look like Emily Browning. I will never sing like P!nk. And I need to realize that that is okay. I can be ME without it being a bad thing.

 But then again, is it wrong to look for compliments once in awhile? Is it wrong to want to hear from someone "you look really beautiful today"? A flirty glance from that stranger in a store or the smile from the person in the car next to you at the stop light? 

 I may not look like the celebrities in my favorite movies or television show or the models gracing the covers of all those magazine that urge us to love ourselves yet include articles on how to lose weight and fix our skin, clothing and hair.... but I am okay. I am good. I am me and that should be enough, dammit. 

 And I smile at the thought that someone out there wishes they could be like me.  

Chicken Tamale Casserole

CHICKEN TAMALE CASSEROLE

Serves: 8

INGREDIENTS:
1 cup shredded Kraft 2% Mexican Cheese Blend, divided
1/3 cup skim milk
1/4 cup egg beaters
1 tsp cumin
1/8 tsp cayenne
1 can Green Giant Cream Style Corn
1 box Jiffy corn muffin mix
1 (4 oz) can Old El Paso chopped green chiles
1 can red enchilada sauce
2 cups shredded, cooked chicken breast (I used store bought rotisserie)
Fat Free Sour Cream

DIRECTIONS:
1. Preheat oven to 400.

2. Combine 1/4 cup of the shredded mexican cheese with the next 7 ingredients in a large bowl (through the green chiles).

3. Pour mixture into a casserole dish which has been sprayed with Pam.

4. Bake mixture for 15-20 minutes until set.
Remove from oven; pierce with fork several times.
Pour enchilada sauce over entire surface of casserole.
Top with chicken, then sprinkle with remaining cheese.

5. Bake 15 more minutes. Remove from oven and let stand for 5 minutes. Cut into 8 equal squares and top with a dollop of sour cream.

NUTRITION:
Per serving:
Calories: 323
Carbs: 43
Fat: 8
Protein: 19
Sugar: 12
Iron: 6

When Overindulging is Inevitable

So tonight my parents are coming over to see our new place for the first time. This means that I will be making a decadent meal tonight and I'm throwing my calorie-counting ways to the side tonight (for the most part).

On the menu tonight: Chicken Carbonara and Salad with Italian Bread.
For desert: Mini Devil's Food Trifles.

The meal alone with desert is more than I am allowed for calories in a single day. Whoops! Sooooo what am I going to do, you ask? I am making a conscious effort to eat a little bit of everything. As in "a little bit of this" and "a little bit of that." So instead of having full portions of these things I will consume more salad than carbonara. And I will eat only half of a mini trifle. That should help me out.

It's either that or run a 5k before dinner or skip allllllll other meals. I choose to simply be a bit more careful about portion size.

So tell me. How do YOU keep yourself from going overboard?

Low Calorie Snack Alert!

While grocery shopping lastnight I was checking the back of every item I could to find a low calorie snack option that would satisfy me. I looked at my favorite hummus dips but found that they were upwards of 120 calories per 2 Tbsp. So I put all of them back. It just seems insane to me to waste that many calories on something so tiny regardless of how 'healthful' it is. So while in the fresh produce section (near the Tofu items) I found this gem. It's called Super Hummus and it's put out by nasoya. It is LOADED with Protein and is very low calorie compared to it's cousins over by the cheeses. I was able to eat 2 Tbsp of this hummus with a whole wheat tortilla and it was only 190 calories. Holy Hummus, Batman! Nom. And paired with, say, carrots or other veggies it would be even fewer. It's made with soybeans rather than the usual chickpeas and has minimal oils in it. I highly reccomend. Yum!!

Nutritional Info:

2 Tbps = 1 serving

Calories: 50

Fat: 3g

Sodium: 120 mg

Carbs: 2g

Protein: 4g

So nom away, my friends!

She's Lump!

I have a pretty non-physical job. I sit in front of a computer all day with a headset on answering phone calls for a non profit human services agency. This makes getting my needed exercise in daily quite difficult. I truly believe my bum has gotten twice as big since I took this job back in 2010. But I also have a 9 month old son who makes sure that I am not sitting for long between calls. Either way, I feel like an inactive lump most days. That is why I have taken up my morning walks (which as mentioned before are slowly transitioning into afternoon walks) and try to make sure I DO walk at least 5 days out of the week.

At one point I worked for about 6 months at the Deli in a local supermarket. Let me tell you... that job was more physically demanding than you'd think! My arms were way toned and I'd dropped about 10 lbs while working there. Sometimes I miss it just because of the workout I got (and also the friends I made there, of course).

Now, all of this being said, Hurricane Sandy took her toll on me in a few ways. Number 1: I couldn't walk because I'd have gotten blown away to Oz. Number 2: MEMA (The Massachusetts Management Agency) activated my agency during the State of Emergency which meant I was working 12 hour shifts fielding nonstop calls. So I didn't get to move.... at all. It is amazing what it does to your mental health when you cannot get in physical activity. Holy cow!

But! Somehow I still managed to lose some weight and I was able to take my morning walk this morning for the first time since last week. Yay! So here we go... back to the old routine. So far I've lost 7 lbs and I hope it keeps up. 23 more to go!

Chilly Dilemma

I couldnt' have started this new-me adventure at a worse time, I swear it. Not only did I start it right before the holidays AND during football season but I also started it when the mornings are getting progressively colder making it clear that I cannot continue to take my morning walks because I also happen to push my little boy around while doing it. His poor cheeks (which are quite massive, btw) are red by the time we return home no matter what type of warm clothing and blankets I bestow upon him.

Yesterday we had to skip our morning walk anyway because it turns out we needed diapers and formula. So instead we piled into the car and did our quick shopping. By the time we got back there was definitely no time left before I had to work. So I decided to walk during my half hour lunch break. Boy was I glad I did that! The sun was shining and it was more comfortable, temperature-wise. And by the time I got back to work I felt more energized and ready to take on the back half of the day. WHYYYYY did I not do this sooner?

Now. This new routine may work well for now. But I must remember that I DO live in New England, after all, and the flurries will be coming soon followed by large snow banks and icy roadways. I don't really want to go to the gym. It's not my thing. My husband digs it, which is fine. But me? Nahhh.

So I ask: What sort of things can I do during the snowy months to stay active and burn calories? I've considered just doing laps in my own house but I might get dizzy. I've also considered trying to find someone selling a used treadmill but it doesn't seem financially feasable at this time. I am also considering purchasing the Wii Fit (Does that even WORK?). So I am open to suggestion. Help me out here.

Slow Cooker Italian Sausage and Peppers

So I figured I'd start off with what I had for dinner TONIGHT!

Slow Cooker Italian Sausage and Peppers
Serves 8

INGREDIENTS:

• 2 Packages Al Fresco Italian Chicken Sausage, cut into 1 inch pieces
• 1 Green Bell Pepper, cut into strips
• 1 Red Bell Pepper, cut into strips
• 1 Yellow Onion, cut into strips
• 2 (15 oz) cans Stewed Tomatoes
• 2 (6 oz) cans tomato paste
• 1 package McCormick® Slow Cookers Italian Herb Chicken Seasoning Mix

DIRECTIONS:

1. Place all ingredients in slow cooker/crockpot and mix well.

2. Cover and cook on low 6-8 hours.

Serve over brown rice if desired (calories not counted in nutritional assessment)

NURTRITIONAL INFO:

(Per Serving)

Calories: 232

Fat: 7

Carbs: 32

Protein: 17

Sugar: 21
Iron: 17

Rumbly in my Tumbly

Well hello!

I suppose I should first start off by introducing myself. My name is Amy. I am a mom of twin girls who are in middle school and a 9 month old son. I am married to a wonderful man and have a job in human services. In September 2003 I had gastric bypass at the tender age of 23. At that time I was around 250 lbs. I can't be sure of the exact weight because I refused to acknowledge scales. By August 2004 I had gotten down to 127 lbs. I felt fantastic! Somewhere along the line I started to not care so much about what I was putting in my mouth. The past couple of years I just let myself go. Not sure why, either. In any case my husband and I decided to start using the MyFitnessPal app on our phones to track calories. Since then I have become slightly obsessed. I have also lost 5 lbs in the past two weeks. So yay! My goal is to get back down to 130 lbs or less.

Since I've become a calorie counting fanatic I have been hunting for low calorie recipes and giving my favorite recipes healthier make-overs. I thought it would be useful to share some of my newfound knowledge with people and share inspiration.

What to expect from this blog:

• Low Calorie/Healthier recipes (which will include photos and nutritional information)
• Low Calorie snacking ideas
• Exercise tips and tricks
• Weekly Weigh-In for myself (whether it's good or bad)
• I will respond to any questions or comments you have while being respectful (I ask you to do the same)
• Funny anecdotes to make you smile

I hope that you all enjoy this blog. It's something that will help me stay on track and I hope it inspires you to do the same.